Did you ever love somebody?
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: When I touch them I want it to be you I'm touching. When I close my eyes and kiss them in my mind it's your lips caressing mine, your arms around my neck, your body melting into mine. No one can compete with you and no one ever has since the day I first laid eyes on you.


**Did you ever love somebody**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Jean/James

**Rating:- **K+

**Achieve:- ** ** . /group/lewisffarchive/**

**Summary:- **When I touch them I want it to be you I'm touching. When I close my eyes and kiss them in my mind it's your lips caressing mine, your arms around my neck, your body melting into mine. No one can compete with you and no one ever has since the day I first laid eyes on you.

**Author's Note:- **Slightly angsty slightly fluffy song fic Lyrics from "Did you ever love somebody" By Jessica Simpson. I normally stick to writing from Jean's POV when doing first person so this is my first from James! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely!

_Did you ever love somebody_

_So much that the earth moved?_

You smile at me from across the room your eyes meeting mine as you excuse yourself from the company you're in and walk toward me. Just the sight of you in the knee length black velvet dress that hugs ever curve is enough to make me feel like the world has turned on it's axis.

"Happy birthday Ma'am." I've had to hold the small gift bag out at arm's length in the hope it will stop you getting too close. The smell of your perfume still winds around me like an invisible ribbon of enchantment though, a ribbon that tightens when you stop taking the bag from me with a puzzled tilt of your head.

_Did you ever love somebody_

_Even though it hurt to?_

"Thank you James you didn't have to bring a gift I'm glad you came." If you knew how hard it would have been for me not to be here tonight you'd laugh. If you knew how I live for the moments I spend in your company outside work you'd never doubt whether I'd accept your invitations again.

"It's not much but given it's a "special" birthday…"

"We don't use the "special" word and the first person in the room to say the actual number I'll arrest for insulting a senior police officer." Your laugh is so genuine; so full of life that my heart races, my stomach tightens and the steam roller that is my love for you flattens me once again.

_Did you ever love someone_

_Nothing else your heart could do?_

"I'll consider myself warned Ma'am. I hope they're ok I've never been very good at picking presents for girls…"

"Oh James you are definitely a welcome addition to the evening the last person who called me a girl was that 94 year old witness you and Lewis left me babysitting last week and I'm pretty sure he was blind." There it is again, that soft sultry laugh as you lift the small box from the bag. How could I not have fallen in love with you? What could I do when everything about you seems to grab at my heart and refused to let go? Your eyes have met mine again now as you run your fingers over the small pair of dragonfly earrings and I swear my head feels like at the appreciation in them.

"Are they ok? You can change them if you don't like them." A single smile that tells me so much and breaks my heart all at one because there are times when I see it so rarely.

_Did you ever love somebody_

_Who never knew?_

"They're gorgeous, I love them. It's criminal that you're single James you would make someone a fantastic partner." It's my turn to laugh. If only you knew. If only you had any idea how I can never settle with anyone because they can never come close to you. No matter who comes into my life, no matter who I get close to it can never go anywhere. When I touch them I want it to be you I'm touching. When I close my eyes and kiss them in my mind it's your lips caressing mine, your arms around my neck, your body melting into mine. No one can compete with you and no one ever has since the day I first laid eyes on you.

_Did you ever lay your head down on the shoulder of a good friend_

_And then had to look away somehow had to hide the way you felt from them?_

"I'm glad you like then I…" you've wrapped your arms around me in a tight hug placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. It's taking every of my self-control not to capture you in that hug and kiss you in a way that would leave you and the rest of the room in no doubt how I feel about you.

"James you're blushing." Your fingers on my cheek wiping away the mark your lipstick has left are sending shockwaves through my body as I unconsciously take a step back. "Sorry I'm quite sure it does nothing for your prospects with the ladies in the room to have me kiss you in front of them all. Come on let's get you a drink Robbie and Laura are over there by the bar.

_Have you ever prayed the day would come you'd hear them say they feel it too_

_Did you ever love somebody who never knew?_

Again it hits me how completely unaware you are of my feelings and the same yearning that I always feel at moments like this grips me. Falling into step behind you, trying to keep some small distance between us I watch your every move until you reach the bar taking the pint glass off the barman and handing it to me.

"I have to mingle, join Robbie and Laura and I'll get back to you later when I've done hostess duty. That's when I can relax and really enjoy myself with you lot." In a heartbeat you're gone again and your words are hanging in the air. I know you see me as a friend just like them but for a second I let myself hope, dream even that on some level it's my company you crave. I may never hear you say it for real but I can hold on to the smallest of hopes, the tiniest of beliefs that I won't spend my life in love with you and never know you feel the same.

_I do and if you did _

_Well you know I'd understand_

_I could, I would, more than anybody can_

"James are you ok you look distracted?" Laura Hobson is smiling at me as I finally join them at the table but all I can do is nod. I can't take my eyes off you as my reaction seems to satisfy her and she and Robbie fall into conversation again. As you move through the room a picture of elegance it strikes me that I'm probably not the only man in the room who can't take his eyes off you. I wonder if you even notice, if you realise the effect you have on men without even trying. I wonder if there's someone in the room who would or will be lucky enough to have you love them not that you're no longer with him. Is there someone here who holds your heart like you hold mine? If there is and he doesn't grab the chance to be with you with both hands he's an idiot because I know exactly what he'd be missing. I've lived that moment in my head a thousand times, the moment where I heard you say you love me, you want me like I do you and it's never anything other than amazing.

_Did you ever love somebody nothing else your heart could do_

_Did you ever love somebody like I love you?_

"I love Chris for caring enough to organise all this but I wish he'd kept it to family and close friends. Most of these people were more his father's friends than mine and I swear half of them are only here out of nosiness." You've joined us at the table sitting so close to me on the long bench seat that I can feel the heat from your body, smell that familiar perfume again this time mixed with the scent of faint strawberries as you shake your head causing you hair to waft past my face.

"Well you can't turn…" Oh Robbie almost said the magic number and even the "say it Inspector and you'll regret it" look you've thrown him has made me shift uncomfortably. I've never loved anyone the way I've fallen for you and I know even if you never know it I know I never will again. As you finally relax falling into conversation with Laura about the female desire to forget about birthdays and the male insistence on reminding them I indulge in my favourite hobby. I indulge in watching you, creating memories that aren't real and probably never will be but which feed my need for you, A need I'll never be brave enough to tell you of, a need I know will never wain no matter how much time passes.


End file.
